’31 at 31′

My first proper post (for a while, anyway) is about my planned little project of self-improvement/self-torture. I have named it ’31 at 31′, as I just turned 31 and the project is planned to last 31 days (well, indefinitely, but as I will explain in a little bit, the 31 has a significance. Kind of.)

 The old saying goes that forming a pattern takes 30 days and  breaking a bad habit takes 90 days. In about 33 days I am going to head out for a little break from work and hopefully have a relaxing holiday, but before that, the plan is to indulge in a little health kick. God knows I tend to eat helthier food when I am on holiday anyway, so this is a good ‘pre-break prepairer’.

 Doing shifts and studying has definitely taken a toll when it comes to my health. I’ve been riddled with colds and plagues with being tired all the time, and I have decided that it is finally time to do something about it. And swapping gyms to one that does all sorts of classes has also had a significant impact into this decision.
 And so, I have decided to indulge in a kick up the arse from myself, and a general kick up when it comes to fitness and health. I intend to spend a month eating more healthy food. Granted, since this is mainly due to the fact that I am absolutely broke due to a useless housemate who cannot pay her share of the electricity bills (if you’re reading this, bloody well borrow the money from someone, lol – or atleast stop shopping crap and showing it to me  /:-)). So, there is no money for junk food. Or proper food, to be fair. I suspect that I will be spending a month eating porridge and the free soup I can get at the vending machines at work. However, no take-away, no fast food. Lots of water – not a hard task in the heat we’re having.

 More importantly, I intend to take up exercise again properly. As in ‘in the gym’. Sweating, horrific, enjoyable and endorphine-filled. And I intend to post it all in here. Not how well I did, how badly I did, but just how it was, what it was, how did it go in general. it’s only a competition against myself, no-one else.

Further Study

 So. here I am, at my current University, frantically trying to decide what to do next. I don’t think I want to become a ‘responsible adult’, so am seriously considering doing some further study. And my further I mean another undergraduate degree .

 Some of the readers may know that I have had my heart set in the graduate entry medical degree for a bit, and lo and behold, I have just realized that financially it actually may be a possibility. However, having to do the clicical apritude test this year is not a possibility, so I suspect that I may indeed have to wait until next year to apply, and think of something good to do in the meantime.

 Nottingham Trent University has some cracking courses on fashion and art, so I am considering doing something that I might actually enjoy, and dipping my toe into a pond of superficial frivolity for once.  So I am seriously considering that a bout of UCAS madness will soon commence, and that I will have a look at what is out there for me to do.. or then I might just be a bore and carry on working. My next plan is to pay off my debts and then saver enough money to buy my planned Balenciaga bag. From a shop. In Paris.

Fly-by

 Just a quick note from me to indicate that I do remember I have a blog, and that I am still alive.

Life is busy. Essay work, work, planning my holiday which will happen next week..planning coffee . It’s hectic, stressful, but quite nice. If all goes well and I can postpone a few of my essays until next year, it is all good. Life, it seems, is getting better.

Irritants, Vol. 1 – People

 I threatened a while ago to Tweet about the things that annoy me. However, as there are so many things that usually annoy me on a daily basis, I thought I would just blog about them..

Starting off with Volume 1, ‘People’. Now, this will no doubt continue in various posts, and possibly this post will be amended later on, as God knows there’s not a lot more annoying than people, full stop.

Selfish and self-indulgent friends

For some reason, I seem to have a lot of these. From moaning about how talentless and thick they are (when they clearly aren’t) to  feeling superior to everyone else. Some people demand the attention of others, yet never give it back when it is needed. Whatever is going on with them, it’s always worse than what’s going on in your life, whatever they are doing is naturally more important than what’s going on in yours.

 I come across this particularly often now that I am a student, with my hyper-intelligent friends calling me and complaining onhow they will fail our course. Hmm, don’t think so. Like that skinny friend moaning about how fat they look in search of praise, these people just want you to tell them they’re amazingly intelligent.

People who swear loudly in public places

Please, just fuck off. Thank you. . Really, it is not nice to have to listen to a grown-up calling their boss a such-and-such on a bus. That’s what you’re suppose to do at work behind their back. Not that I ever have (honest). Numbnuts was not my idea as a nickname, after all..

Young people who push in front in queues and generally exhibit bad manners

I do hope your parents disinherit you. This really winds me up, but a few days ago I witnessed a few quite decently-dressed young ladies queue jump in front of an elderly gent with a walking stick. He took it in with good humour. I contemplated a gross public murder.

Relentless Egomaniacs

Oh these people we all know and love. Memememememememememememememmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. MEH. I am one, granted, but I have a right to be because I am brilliant. Or so the voices in my head tell me.

‘I Am Right And You Are Wrong’

 Whatever you have done, they have done ten times better. whatever you have been taught, they know the right way. These people always know what they are doing, and always tell you what you ought to do. 

Sexiiists (done like Richie from ‘Bottom’) 

Oh dear sexists, where do I start with you. From asking me to smile (I don’t smile at you because you’re a prat) to going on about how I should/shouldn’t get pregnant/cut my hair/wear a dress/dye my hair/not work in a ‘man’s job’… you do make my day brighter. Where I am from, I could sue you for harrassment, and get all your money off from you, you know. Mostly I just ignore you, because it’s bloody difficult to take note of someone with an IQ smaller than a cucumber’s. Bless you, you little little man :-).

Label queens and fashion addicts

Oh, I had as friend like this.  Spending all her money on Chanel makeup, looking down on people wearing jeans.  OK, I do admit I like fashion – it is fantastic and quite fun. But I don’t sneer at people who don’t believe in labels, or wear whatever is trendy at this moment in time. Oh no. because God knows there’s nothing uglier than a snob, no matter what they wear..

Labellers

Those people who want you to fit into a little box with a label inside, so they can classify you as ‘a’, ‘b’ or ‘c’. No crossover artists here, labellers want people to be identifiable and act within the expected perimeters.

I do not get labellers. What is it all about. where does biphobia come from, for instance, or the sometimes-evident resentment of switches in the BDSM community? Bad experiences,  fear of people who are different, fear of the dark that lurks within yourself?  Wouldn’t life be better and easier if you would concentrate on what makes YOU feel good as opposed to worrying about how other people spend their lives.

Later

Later on the day, I feel like reflecting on a lot of things. My ex suddenly getting back in contact, out of nowhere, and being nice, flirting with me. My lover coming back from his holiday, ill and distant. My friend who I fell out with. And I think ‘is this what I want, is this all there is?’.

It is a tricky question, dealing what the ‘ifs and the buts’. And there are no real answers. the ex getting back in contacts makes me feel uneasy – I ask myself what he is after. But I do not know. My lover being distant indicates that this is the end of our time together. My friend.. who knows if we can ever be friends again – I don’t think I want to have that kind of intense level of friendship with her anymore, not after all this time, after all she said.

Typical nights, these..too much to think, but nowhere near enough answers.